Have you ever taken into consideration how you would feel if you could just look past other people’s opinion of you? Sometimes, all you need is to shut out other people’s voices and opinions that are in your head.
I remember clearly that one day, I went to work as usual and during my daily routine, I decided to accompany a colleague of mine to see what he does. As we worked together, one question popped up, “Just how do you deal with other peoples’ opinion of you?”, especially when they make a negative comment or say something that either hurts or pains you?
You seem to be so calm, especially when several occurrences take place. I smiled and thought…”that is a good question”. This specific question got me thinking about so many times that many people have made negative comments that have hurt me. Below are the lessons learn’t
1. Different backgrounds make us different
We all come from different backgrounds, cultures, and upbringing. How you were raised might not be how someone else was raised. This is one thing that you must all learn and understand so as to live in harmony with others despite their negative opinions of you.
2. Other people’s opinion can hurt you
Other people’s negative opinions of you might hurt your feelings, social life and even work, especially if you don’t find a way to shut them out? People are different and what you need to learn is that you should be in a position to stop focusing on other people’s negative opinions of you. We cannot all expect everyone around us to think or behave as you do.
3. Our personality traits differ
You should know your personality trait so as to effectively address several situations in your life. We all have different kinds of people with different mentalities that we come across on a day to day basis.
Which brings the question,
What is a personality trait? Personality traits as defined in general are distinguishing qualities or characteristics that are the embodiment of an individual. They are your habitual patterns of behavior, temperament, and emotion.
The first question that you should ask yourself is “What personality traits do you have? And then what personality traits make the other person that you have/are interacting with have?”
Your personality traits are determined by your attitude, actions among several other characters. You will find people with negative personality traits, others will have positive personality traits, neutral personality traits, unusual personality traits all showing more about who they are.
Let’s take a deep look at the big five major and common types of personality traits according to psychology studies.
This is a trait where one is sociable and can freely talk expressing themselves and their views and is outgoing. You practically feel free to be around them.
People who are not just spontaneous, but plan accordingly and are quite conscious and have good control of their actions. They tend to be organized aiming to achieve the highest target.
They are quite compassionate and have the kind heart to assist in tough situations. One can easily trust them. Some people even go to the extent of taking advantage of this kindness and affectionate character.
They are usually very creative and open to ideas. This due to their curiosity and interest in a wide range of things. They see the other side of every experience that they encounter.
They are mostly viewed as insecure due to their worry, anxiety, and instability. Most are emotionally unstable and temperamental. Some tend to have low esteem and seek a lot of unnecessary attention
Back to my short story; having understood that we all have different personality traits, it’s also good to know that the different personality traits have impacts on our life and way of living.
According to studies, they influence everything in your life from the friends that you have as well as your career. So many of us tend to overlook our personality traits and therefore fail to see how others see us. Once you understand your personality traits, you also get to know your strength and weaknesses.
Some of the traits include consciousness, openness, agreeableness, and extraversion. When you are conscious of your actions and the outcome, at times that which is perceived as weakness according to others, to you can be your biggest strength.
What happens with neuroticism
In a scenario where a person has the personality trait neuroticism and are temperamental and insecure, you need to be open and understand that that’s their character and they have a problem. If for example, a person says something to provoke you, it’s up to you to protect your energy.
Will you succumb to their demand for the benefit of not accepting defeat or will you just walk away and ignore them? His response was “Walk away”. For many, this will seem like a weakness, but in the real sense, it’s not. Walking away from a situation that will bring negative consequences is not a weakness but a strength.
It takes a lot of courage and understanding of the other person to walk away. It does not matter if you will be regarded as a coward, but how do you feel like after that?
We should all be free to walk away when a situation poses to bring us more harm than good. People will also have an opinion of us and at times what they tend to think they know might not be true.
Some will even confidently agree and pose as witnesses in a situation that they were never present, but never stoop to their level and get dragged down. Understand that some people have no control over their emotions.
Past experiences and bitter childhood upbringings tend to affect even adults. While some people feel happy by ruining your mood, don’t give them the pleasure.
Practical tip to help you look past other people’s opinion of you
Have you ever asked yourself why there are people that get angry because you never reacted to their accusations or confrontations? Most get angry because their aim was for you to react just to please their ego and convince someone else that you are irrational or even make you lose trust or respect somewhere (at work, home, etc.).
This will help you know how to react and look past other people’s opinion of you.
- Think of a time when you faced a situation where you didn’t know whether to walk away or react to something that happened. Then ask yourself, “How did you react? And how did you feel afterward?” If you reacted negatively there must have been negative consequences.
But, this is why I believe that after reading this article, you will know how to react to peoples’ opinion about you. Understanding that people have different personality traits than yours is one of those things.
What people think about you shouldn’t worry you. Take time to reflect upon your life and all those negative opinions you have heard about you, your family or friends. If you walked away and then felt like a coward, know that you made the right choice.
Make it your habit from today to walk away from negativity. Learn to look past other people’s negative opinion of you and always remember that walking away is not a weakness but a strength.