Simple advice: 5 of the best but overlooked ways of overcoming fear

hurt pain fear-overcoming fear of failure

What causes fear in our lives and how can you overcome fear? Many of us have time to time been afraid of something or to do something out of fear of what will happen next. We need not to let fear overcome us.

It is natural for all of us to fear something in our lives. Is this the end or can we look beyond those fears? What do you fear the most in your life? Is it failure that you will lose that job? Or that people will treat you differently for that decision that you are about to make? What exactly makes you always change your mind whenever you are about to make that big step?

Our day to day life puzzle pieces don’t always fall into place right away and even for those that are successful, you will hear them say that it wasn’t an easy journey but they learnt to press on. But we need to learn to face our fears and shut down any voices in our heads that whisper otherwise. Psychology also discourages us against fear because it can reach to greater lengths that can turn negatively on us especially if it gets to a certain extent.

The action you take when in fear plays a great role in how your future is going to turn out and can lead to depression if you don’t snap out of it. Making it and seeing your dreams become a reality doesn’t have to be so difficult. There is no easy way out and you must conquer your struggle. How best can you start with where you are and with what you have?

  1. Figure out what you truly want.

Well, what exactly do you want? Is it a business that you want to start? Even if it’s a side hustle, it will be great to have some extra income in addition to that job that you already have. Some of us don’t love our jobs and you never know, it might just be what gets you self-employed where you will then have your own company where you can make your decisions.

Sit and think of what you want to start. If it’s a side hustle and you are currently employed, ensure that it doesn’t affect your job or let someone run it for you and then pass by and check on how its’ doing after work. With time you can think of leaving your job once the business is stable.

If you are searching for a job, figure out in which industry and note down the companies that you would like to contact or even visit.

  1. Plan how to achieve what you want.

Make a plan on when you would like to start. Create a list of the requirements and what you will need. You cannot just start a clothing business without knowing where your stock will come from.

If it’s a job, make copies of the relevant papers that you will require, select and choose proper attire for that occasion.

  1. Put the plan into action.

After knowing exactly when you need to start and ensuring that you have all that is needed to start, make the final touches and open up your business. If it’s a store plan on when you will do the official opening and invite some friends to help you launch it. This will also be a good step since they can help you in marketing as well. If it’s an online business, reach out to people and make them aware of what you are doing.

Start small even if you don’t have much but start

  1. Believe in yourself and erase any disbelief.

We have people that have great ideas and some go ahead and implement their plans into action but they have doubts as to whether it will truly work. If this your kind of thinking, then this is not for you. Starting up something with the notion that it will not work is a bad start and it will surely not work.

Others will start on the right foot but stop midway because they have encountered a certain challenge along the way. Learn to be positive and even if at some point you face a setback, just find a solution, there is always a way and you will make it through.

Questions like “how will I handle clients?” should not worry you. Begin first and as you continue, some of these questions will be answered along the way. You will even realize that with time you will meet people doing what you do who will give you an insight on how to go about certain issues.

  1. See yourself succeeding.

Always look at the brighter side as you continue making that dream a reality. Setbacks will always come but just like a storm, they will not stay for long. Figure them out and keep moving forward.

Remember to always look at the bright side and face that fear.

You will make it through… As Ijeoma Umebinyuo once said…

“Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just… start.”

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How to unlock your full breakthrough: Bitter can get better

unlock full breakthrough bitter can get better

Have you ever thought you need a breakthrough in your life? And how do you get it?

This is to all out there who feel that life has not been fair and they have been left bitter. You are not alone but you can bring change and only you have that capability. Change is essential in such a state. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from or your background. You need to change your thinking for that full breakthrough, it doesn’t just happen automatically.

I know the feeling; the loneliness and the silence which is deafening all around you and all you do is live in your own cocoon not wanting to let anyone in for fear of rejection and that you aren’t worthy of anything. You stay away from your loved ones and keep your distance. You feel broken, empty and lost.

Life can live you so bitter that you cannot even see opportunities lying ahead. You are a writer but with no words to write. Your hearts’ bleeding from one more bad events that have occurred in your life. This makes you scared and you are not sure of what life has in store for you. The pain is too much; more than you can bear and the scars always reminding you of the past. Sometimes all you want is that the earth to just open up and swallow you and all you do is cry. All you need is someone to hold you close and make you feel safe and assure you that it will be fine. It’s alright to cry; for it lessens the pain and your heart feel less heavy afterwards.

How best can you handle all those negative thoughts in your mind?

Just keep on walking and don’t look back. I know it might seem so far and at times you tend to wander whether walking is the best choice but what more will you lose? As long as you have hope, even the tiniest bit, that hope will keep you going. You will stumble and fall several times but you need to gather up some energy and courage and stand. Limp, jog, walk or even run if you have to but keep moving.

Change your thinking and attitude and believe that things will get better. As you walk, you will come across bridges and walls but always believe that the grass on that other side of the bridge is greener than where you are NOW. Remember that we have seasons; summer, winter, autumn and spring and summer will always come even after it snows. Seasons will change.

Some of us believe in God and praying and trusting in him keeps us moving. There are others that don’t believe that God exists but all that I can tell you is that there are forces beyond us and as long as you believe that things will get better and keep going all will be well. I can assure you that it will get better.

What can you do as a start?

  1. Plan for every single day the moment you wake up. Go into every new dawn believing that ahead of you is a beautiful start with opportunities to greater things to come. Set a target as to what it is you want to achieve for that day. Whenever a negative though crops up, brush it off
  2. Erase any negativity. Believe that you can go beyond the setbacks
  3. Don’t ever look back at your past mistakes and dwell on their negative consequences but look at what those mistakes have taught you. Focus on that and learn from them
  4. At the end of every day, note down whether you achieved the number 1 target above. If yes, that’s a big up for you and if not, point out what went wrong or what you can do different to achieve it.

Turn that pain into victory. Just practice the above every single day and believe that it’s impacting positively on you.

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How to embrace who you are & be happy

Be happy by embracing who you are

Just how can you embrace who you are in order to be happy? You wake up and as you make your first step out of bed you sigh heavily. That’s an indication already that you aren’t looking forward to the day ahead. The heaviness in you has already worn you out.

It might be that you are tired of that routine job or your daily routine activities. You have been longing for a change for a while but you aren’t sure where to start…It all starts with you.

What you need to do;

1. Look at yourself and be thankful for who you are.

We all cannot be the same. We are all different in our own special way. Learn to look at yourself and appreciate the far that you have come and all that you have achieved. Even the fact that you are breathing alone is enough to be thankful for, for it gives you another chance to better your life.

2.Never compare yourself with someone else.

You might be looking at yourself and thinking, “if only I could have a better life like so and so, or travel all over the world whenever I want without having to worry about tomorrow or what my kids would eat”. You are probably thinking that you aren’t privileged enough or that life has thrown at you too many lemons. Well, why not make lemonade out of them? By this, I mean, take all that pain, past hurtful experiences and set aside all those feeling s and thoughts of lack and not being like someone else and look at what you have.

Loving you will greatly impact on the life you will live. You do not have to live the life of someone else in order to be happy. That one person that you might be envying, might be having all the money, all the flashy things that you desire, but when they are all alone, they are in their worst state and unhappy with their lives.

I don’t intend to say that you should not want better, but before that better is achieved, you need to learn to appreciate for the little that you already have and then out of that little, bit by bit build your own empire. In the long run you will finally achieve what you’ve always desired.

3.Treat yourself like the king or queen that you are.

So, you love eating out, going for the movies, sports, hiking, or whatever it is that makes you happy. Why not spare that weekend or that evening and go out and have some fun? You can go out alone, with your family or friends and create some happy moments. Moments that will greatly boost your esteem whenever you are at your lowest point. That weekend out can be the turnaround of embracing you. Recall that memory and use that particular moment to erase all the negativity that might be clouding your thoughts.

4. Let go of fear

Don’t fear embracing who you are for fear of what others might think. It might be that you love or are good at doing something (sports, activities such as cooking, knitting etc.). This is one way of embracing yourself. That sport that you love to play. Why not approach the coach and find out if you can secure a position in the school team? Stop worrying about what the bullies and others might think.

The fear that when you are yourself, that the circle of friends that you have will slowly narrow down to nothing. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but learn to be yourself and stop draining your strength out of fear of what those around you might think. Yes, we all need friends and family by our side, but have you ever asked yourself if those that surround you are actually sincere about their friendship?

One thing that I have experienced over the years is that a friend that will stand by you even when you are in your true self is the one that will always hold your hand even in your worst moments.  Most of us have so many people that we consider our friends, but ask yourself “Are they always there when I need them the most?” or only 1 out of 20 show up? Think of those moments when you needed someone just to listen to you, they don’t necessarily have to give you something but just lend you an ear or a shoulder to lean or cry on.

Stop worrying about that statement that was made that “YOU CANNOT DO IT”… because, “YOU CAN”. Let go of the fear and set yourself free. Have the courage to be you. This will bring you inner peace.

Embracing who you are brings you happiness and changes your life in ways that you cannot imagine. So today, start appreciating yourself and all the abilities that you have and work towards creating a better you.

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